Falling for You
by ObviousSubtext
Summary: Castiel falls for Dean and Dean tries to make sense of his new life. Post-finale.
1. Chapter 1

Castiel, the angel, _his_ angel, had left him. No, not left, but it felt like it. Maybe worse because it was in vain. Castiel had sacrificed himself so Dean could save the world, and he'd failed. Now the apocalypse was in full swing, Sam was in an impossible withdrawal, and with Cas gone, Bobby was Dean's only anchor in this world.

Sam was fighting through the urges and headaches to do his part, and as the firefight raged on, he, Dean and Bobby were crouched behind the Impala.

"This ain't right, Bobby." Dean said. "We're hunters, not cops." But they were using _real_ bullets, with a limited supply, against a group of burglars. It was the first big sign on the apocalypse, all the other goings-on had been quiet and subtle to the rest of the world, but devastating to the hunters.

"Just shut your pie hole and keep shootin'" Bobby said.

"It doesn't seem right, Dean." Sam agreed, like it meant something. Sam's realization of his horrible mistake with Ruby and his understanding that they were both equally responsible for the mess they were in brought them back together, but neither thought they'd ever be as they were a year ago. Some things just couldn't be undone. The thieving punks were armed with handguns and stood unprotected in the middle of the street. Under different circumstances, Dean would've found this thrilling and new, but he had other things on his mind.

He barely had time to react when Castiel appeared beside them, looking down at his charge. Dean's eyes widened and his trigger finger paused.

"Cas..." he breathed, a faint smile on his face.

The angel didn't even get a chance to look over at the young criminals, before a bullet cut through his meat suit. Dean's mouth fell open as he watched his angel fall to the ground.

"Cas!" he shouted. He started to get up but Sam pulled him back down by the shoulder. Dean came back into the moment and realized he'd dropped his gun. Just as he picked it up and started to fire with a clearer head, two of the four criminal's magazines ran out. They yelled to the other two and the fire ceased as they took off down an alley. Bobby and Sam stopped firing but Dean kept on with determination

"Enough! Enough!" Bobby shouted. He pulled at Dean's arm and Dean dropped the gun again. He rushed to Castiel's side and knelt down.

"Cas?" was all he could say. There was a pool of blood around the angel's torso, the wound in his side was staining his trench coat.

"Dean." he said, looking up at him. Hearing that gruff voice again made the hunter feel something that he didn't pay much attention to. He put an arm under the angel's shoulders and lifted his top half into his arms.

Castiel's eyes fell closed and he went limp.

"Cas." Dean said again. "Don't you die on me, you son of a bitch." His eyes were watery.

Sam and Bobby just stood watching, a little thrown off, and listening as hard as they could.

"Come on, Cas, heal yourself."

"I can't." He opened his eyes and the look he gave Dean made him understand.

"You fell..." he said finally.

"It was the only way."

A second passed, as it hit Dean, and then he realized what would happen if he didn't act now.

"Bobby!" he barked over his shoulder. "You drive."

Bobby didn't question it, he ran around the running car and got in the driver's seat. Sam reached for the back door and opened it as Dean put an arm under Castiel's knees and picked him up. He slid him over into the backseat and in one smooth motion, got in and leaned Castiel over on him. Sam jumped in the passenger's seat and Bobby stepped on the gas. Dean talked to the wounded man the whole ride to the hospital.

"Stay with me, Cas, open your eyes. We're almost there, just hang on."

Bobby and Sam exchanged looks as Dean said, "I just got you back" with more emotion than they thought was intended.

At the hospital, Dean carried Cas into the ER and waited impatiently for word. He sat with his head down, rested on his hands, mumbling to himself. Sam heard him whispering "Just let him be alright." He wondered exactly who he was talking to.

The doctor finally came out and talked to Dean. "Your brother will be fine, Mr. Shaw." he told him. "The bullet just missed his lungs, no vitals were damaged, it did nick a rib though, he'll have to take it easy for a few weeks, but he can go home." Dean thanked him, they exchanged nods and the doctor went back through the double doors.

Bobby and Sam hung back while Dean went back to see him. He went straight for the bedside and was glad to see that Castiel was awake and alert. They watched each other as he crossed the room.

"You're gonna' be okay." Dean told him.

"That's what the doctor said." Castiel said slowly. He didn't seem to understand the words.

"Chuck said you died, you say you fell, what the hell happened?" Dean asked.

"The archangel defeated me. I was sent back to Heaven and the only choice I had was to fall."

"Choice?"

"It was either stay in Heaven for eternity or live a mortal life on Earth."

"And you chose Earth." Dean sort of asked. He thought it was insane, but that didn't mean he wasn't glad.

"I chose you."

Dean's face changed. "You fell for _me_?" He ignored the humor in the phrase and waited for an answer.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel looked up at Dean and let his eyes wander around the room.

"Cas?" Dean prompted, but he knew the answer. He just didn't know what to think.

Castiel kept ignoring him, looking genuinely interested in all the medical equipment around him.

"So you want to protect me, is that it?" Dean asked gruffly. "Well, I'll tell you something, pal, I don't need you. I don't need you falling for me, watching out for me. I'm a big boy now."

"Dean." Castiel said to stop his rambling.

"What?"

"I couldn't stand the idea of being trapped up there, with or without you. But I can't deny that I feel a very strong connection to you. And I know you understand what I mean, I see it in your eyes."

Dean didn't know how to respond, but he didn't completely understand any of it, so he thought to tackle the easiest topics first.

"So you fell, that means what exactly? You're human now? You eat, sleep, no more popping in and out whenever you want? What about Jimmy?" There was a million questions to use to avoid talking about the 'connection.'

"Jimmy was killed by the archangel. He's in Heaven, he's a good man who gave up his family for the Lord."

"Yeah and the other stuff?"

"I have a craving for pie." he dead panned.

Dean didn't want to smile but he couldn't help it.

Castiel was pleased that he'd made a joke, and looked into the Winchester's eyes.

"It's been weeks." Dean said. "I was missing you, I gotta' say. No one's there when I wake up, watching me sleep like a creepy son of a bitch."

Cas smiled.

"I thought I'd never see you again."

"I would pull you out of Hell a thousand times before I let that happen."

Dean didn't know what to say to that either. He had locked eyes with the fallen and wondered what life would be like from now on. He couldn't ignore his feelings anymore, he had no excuses.

"So you're all alone in there, huh?" he asked.

Castiel looked down at the bed. "I am."

"Not so much fun, is it?"

"No, it's not." He seemed deep in a thought. "But you help relax that dread." he said, rather cryptically.

Dean ran a hand over his mouth and decided that was enough for now. "I'd better go tell Sam and Bobby what's going on. We'll, uh, find a hotel and…" he trailed off, losing focus as Cas looked at him with those clueless eyes. It was going to be a different life, and Dean thought maybe that was exactly what he wanted. "I'll be back for you in a minute."

Castiel gave a slow nod of understanding and watched Dean leave the room.

"Talk about a chick-flick moment." Dean said as he reached the waiting room.

"Is he okay?" Sam asked, sounding mildly uninterested.

"Yeah, he… he fell." Dean wanted to explain all that that automatically entailed, but assumed they would understand the same way he had.

Dean drove the second time, out of the parking lot and onto the city street in the middle of Montana. Bobby was in the passenger's seat, Sam was in the back with Castiel, who looked like a timid dog on his first car ride. He was looking at the surroundings as they passed by the window, and in the car itself.

Dean knew this was how it would from now on. Bobby would be dropped off at his car, Sam would move to the front seat and they would find an out of the way motel to crash at. They'd get looks from the desk clerk. Now they weren't just a couple of "antiquers", they were three guys checking into a motel together. And even if one hung back and came in afterward, there'd still be the issue of two queen sized beds. Dean flushed at the thought of how that could work out, knowing that would never happen. Castiel was an… well now he really _did _have no excuses.

Bobby told them to be safe as he got back into his car and the Impala headed down the street. It was nearly 7, but Dean had felt a long day. All the days were long now. He turned into the first motel they came upon and started to get out. He stopped and turned to see Cas in the back.

"Stay with Sam, I'll just be a minute." he said, afraid the angel might try to follow him. That scene quickly played out in his head.

Cas nodded and Dean got out and headed to the office. This one was straight out of Psycho: it was off a deserted road, it was clean looking, but dark, and there were houses in the distance, out of earshot. He decided that if there were any animal heads mounted on the walls, they were sleeping in the car.

Inside the office, there were plants but no animals. Dean walked up to the desk and said, "Two queens," letting his exhaustion overpower his politeness.

The man went for a set of keys as Dean picked a credit card from his wallet.

"Thank you, Mr. Sullivan." the man said.

Dean nodded and took the key and his card back and went back outside. He gestured to Sam in the Impala and he got out and went to the trunk to get their bags. Castiel followed him and they met up with Dean at the door. The room was actually nice, but all Dean saw was the bed.

"Alright." he said, taking charge, like always. "I'm going to take a shower, then I will pass out in one of these beds. I don't care who I'm laying next to when I wake up in the morning." He pulled off his jacket and threw it on the table, grabbed his bag and headed for the bathroom.

"If I had a nickel for every time you said that." Sam commented.

"Damn straight." Dean said, slamming the door shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel smirked and Sam noticed.

"Are you ready for a life with Dean?" he asked, setting his computer on the table in the corner and opening it.

"I have already considered the possibilities."

"Hilarity is sure to ensue. Even I'll be a little surprised, though, if he asks you to be his wingman when we go out."

Castiel titled his head to the side. "Wingman?"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dean took this short time alone to really think. Castiel was in his life in such a different way, and he couldn't help himself thinking about how different it could be. How different Cas would let it be. _He_ was the one, after all, who had brought up the 'connection', not Dean. But as he got dressed, he stopped thinking realistically and let himself fantasize.

He exited the bathroom and went straight for the closest bed. He sat down and took his over shirt off.

"You okay?" Sam asked. "Are you blushing?"

"It's hot in that bathroom." Dean said quickly, taking his shoes and jeans off.

"Dude, it's 7:30." Sam said.

"It's been a long day." Dean said, pulling his socks off before getting under the covers. He rolled to one side of the bed, to leave room for... whoever.

He was uncomfortable, and hot, but his back was to the room, and he didn't want to roll over and have to stare at them with the kind of thoughts that were going through his head. Sure, he wasn't shy about sex and women, but this time the person was in the room, and he felt like his thoughts were being broadcast. If angel radio was possible, he'd believe anything. So he kept his eyes closed, kept as still as possible, and tried to figure out what he sounded like when he slept. He snored a little, breathed a little rougher, and gave a grumble every now and then. All he could hear was the clicking and typing from Sam's computer, and he wondered what Castiel was doing.

After a few minutes, when he thought Dean was asleep, Castiel got up from the table and went to sit on the other bed. Sam noticed and looked over at him. He was watching Dean sleep. He looked content, like he was waiting for a bus. Just watching, like it was a job. Sam turned back to his computer and smiled a little. Sure it was kind of creepy, at first, but what was a fallen angel going to do to protect Dean while he slept? He reminded Sam of those tiny dogs with big egos, Chihuahua's who thought they were St. Bernards.

After what seemed like hours, Dean was still awake and finally felt the bed sink behind him. Now he knew he wasn't alone, but he still didn't know who it was. Maybe sometime sin the night he'd stir and roll over and see, but wondering immediately brought his mind back to his fantasies. No more busty asian beauties for Dean Winchester.

The next morning, Dean woke up first. The other two probably assumed he'd gone to sleep long before they did, so even though he was dragging, and felt only a few hours sleep, he pretended to be well rested. He sat up on the edge of the bed and looked over his shoulder. His giant brother was sleeping in the bed with him. He sighed and looked over at Castiel stretched out in the other bed. Of course Sam would sleep in the same bed with him, they were brothers, they'd spent most of their childhood in the same hotel bed. Maybe someday though...

Dean jumped as Sam rolled over in his sleep and gave a grunt. Dean shook his head and took it as a sign to stop thinking what he was thinking. He went for the bathroom, quickly becoming paranoid again. The room was so quiet, all he had were his thoughts. He needed a distraction. He went back into the room and to the clock radio on the table between the beds. He turned the dial until he found Metallica.

"Yeah!" He turned up the volume. "Rise and shine, boys!"

A guitar riff started the chorus and Sam jerked awake and pulled himself away from the noise.

"Better than Asia." he mumbled, slowly sitting up as Dean went back into the bathroom. He was starting to think Dean was the morning person of the group. He looked over at Castiel and wondered how the hell he was sleeping through the music.

Dean came out of the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth and went to the end of Castiel's bed. He grabbed his foot and shook it.

"Wakey, wakey." he said.

Castiel gave a grunt and pulled his foot from Dean's grasp. He rolled over onto his back and his eyes barely opened. He looked around the room and shook his head.

"Sleep is strange." he said.

"You'll learn to love it." Dean assured, walking back into the bathroom.

Castiel looked at Sam and sat up on the side of the bed, he tried to sit just as the hunter was.

"What now?" he asked.

Sam realized he'd slept in his dress shirt and khakis. "You can borrow some of Dean's clothes. Take a shower..." Sam shrugged.

"And then?"

"We'll probably get something to eat, head to Bobby's-"

"Hit a bar." Dean said as he came out of the bathroom. He dropped his toothbrush in his bag.

"First you have to teach me how to be your wingman." Castiel said.

Sam smirked, knowing Cas was completely serious, and he knew he was going to have a lot of fun playing with them.

"Excuse me?" Dean said.

"I'm gonna' get in the shower." Sam said, getting up and trying to not smile as he walked by Dean to get to the bathroom.

"Sam said you'll bring me along to distract the hot women's ugly friends."

Sam laughed as he closed the door and Dean looked over with wide eyes.

"So you want clothes?" Dean asked, changing the subject. He started pulling clothes out of his bag.

Castiel's face changed as he realized Sam was putting him on and he felt as though he'd embarrassed Dean.

"You'll have to forgive me." Castiel said, getting up and walking to Dean. He stood a little too close, like always, and gave Dean pleading eyes. "It will take me a while to adjust."

Dean turned to look at him and tried to ignore his eyes. He looked so sorry, and Dean wanted to hug him.

He handed him the jeans and shirt and put a hand on his shoulder. They locked eyes. "Totally understandable, Cas."

"Thank you for being patient with me." he said. He put his head down and went back to the bed. Dean smirked at where his mind went with that statement.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dean shifted the things in his bag around while Castiel started to take his shirt off. The hunter turned around gave a small jump of surprise at the fact that Castiel was undressing in front of him. He stripped down to his boxers and started to mess with the clothes on the bed. It was all Dean could do to not be terribly **_**obvious**_** that he was watching. And wanting. His cheeks started to burn.**

**Castiel dressed in one of Dean's brown T-shirts and worn jeans, the dress shoes didn't exactly fit the outfit and Dean pointed this out. "Keep them, though." he said. "They'll come in handy for jobs. If things ever get back to normal around here."**

**Castiel looked down at his shoes. He didn't know what normal meant, and Dean didn't know where here was.**

**"We'll get your some regular shoes, some... other clothes." Now it was getting awkward. Why did he have to say it like that?**

**Castiel just nodded, though, as Dean walked to the table, uncomfortable.**

**"I'll teach you to drive, too, if you want." he said.**

**"I won't be going anywhere alone."**

**"Unless you have to."**

**Castiel tilted his head.**

**"In case something happens to me and Sam. You take good care of that car."**

**Even Castiel could understand how big a deal that was for Dean. He was "leaving" him the Impala. This was huge. "Thank you, Dean." he said. He went to grab his coat and Dean took it before he could.**

**"Give it a break." Dean said. He looked so much better without it. And in Dean's clothes, no less. "You hungry?"**

**"I think so."**

**"We'll stop by a diner on the way to Bobby's. I need some pie."**

**"Pie." Castiel repeated, smiling.**

**Dean made the excuse of cleaning the Impala until Sam came out. Anything to not be alone with Castiel.**

**"Why are you out here?" he asked.**

**"It hasn't rained in a while, she's getting dirty." Dean said, moving on from the doors to the hood with the old red rag. He looked over his shoulder to see that Sam was alone. "Where's Cas?"**

**"Taking a shower."**

**He muffled a sigh. Now he needed a bigger distraction.**

"**He wouldn't until I told him I'd come sit with you. He's been watching through the window."**

**Dean smiled for a second but hid it.**

"**Is there something going on with you and him?"**

**"What?" Dean spun around and was ready to argue.**

**"Does he know something I don't?"**

**Dean opened his mouth to deny anything else his brother might think, but Sam cut him off.**

**"You can trust me, Dean, I'm handling myself. If there's something he knows, some clue about how to make the apocalypse easier at all, I need to know."**

**Dean breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to his car. "He knows all we know, Sammy. He's just another soldier now."**

**"You're sure?"**

**"He hasn't told me anything new, and if he knows, he will."**

**"You're **_**sure**_**?"**

**"Positive."**

**"Whatever you say." Sam shrugged and went back into the room.**

**They were on the road in a half hour, Sam relaxed in the back with his laptop, Castiel was in the passenger's seat, observing, Dean was driving and not saying a word. The music was rather quiet, but he didn't notice. All he could think about was what was said in the hospital room. Had Castiel taken offense to what he said? What if he hadn't said it? Who would he have woken up next to? Oh who was he kidding, that would never happen....**

**Well maybe not never. But not right away. Dean didn't even know anymore. His logic wasn't meeting with reality anymore, and he didn't want it to. He just wanted to have something he wanted before the world ended.**

"**Hey, Cas." Sam said, breaking Dean's insane thoughts. "Turn it up a little, would you?"**

"**Oh, sure, Sam." Castiel leaned at the radio and went for the volume knob.**

**The music finally registered with Dean and he had another distraction.**

**They found a diner and sat in a corner, in a booth. Sam slid in across from Dean and Castiel slid in next to Dean on the little red bench. Dean felt Castiel's body heat and picked up a menu to hide his face, just in case it was redder than he'd liked.**

**"Oh, right." Castiel said softly like it was a reminder and picked up the menu in front of him.**

**Sam shook his head and picked up his menu. If Castiel was going to learn from Dean, things were bound to get interesting.**

**The waitress came to the table with her little notepad. "You boys ready to order?" she asked, smiling, particularly as Castiel.**

**He smiled back and Dean gave Sam a look. Sam held back a laugh and turned his attention to the waitress. "Yeah, I'll have the French toast."**

**She scribbled on her little pad and turned to Dean.**

**"Is your pie ready?" he asked.**

**"Pie?" she questioned.**

**"Yeah, apple?"**

**Sam shook his head again. It was never too early for Dean to have pie.**

**"Sure." she said, writing it down and looking at him with confusion. She went on to Castiel.**

**"Um..." He looked back at the menu and then at Sam. "I'll have what he's having."**

**"Two French toasts and one piece of pie." She gave Castiel another smile, which he returned, and walked away.**

**Dean nudged Castiel with his elbow and said, "Don't be smiling at every pretty face that walks by."**

**"Why shouldn't he, you do." Sam said.**

**Dean gave him a look that told him to not get involved and Sam smiled. He began to watch the tennis match.**

**"I was being nice." Castiel said.**

**"That's fine here, but in bars, smiles mean other things." Dean said.**

**"I have observed you in bars, I know what smiles mean.**

**"You've **_**observed**_** me in bars?"**

**"Of course. I was protecting you."**

**"From what?"**

**"You never know when a demon could strike."**

**Dean looked at Sam and decided his brother was enjoying this way too much.**

**"You sick son of a bitch." Dean, shook his head. But he couldn't help smiling.**

**When the food came, Castiel studied his meal for a while before actually eating it.**

**Sam was the first to ask him how he liked it once he started. Castiel just nodded as he stuffed his face, he was hunched over his plate like he hadn't eaten in weeks. Dean smiled at his eagerness.**

**"Wait till you try pie." he said.**

**Castiel stopped eating for a second and looked over at Dean with a full mouth. He smiled.**


	5. Chapter 5

After they'd paid, they headed back out to the car. It was still early and they had a lot of ground to cover to get to Bobby's. Sam got in the back again, his laptop up and running before the other two could even get in.

"It's just like old times with you and that thing, Sammy." Dean commented, looking at his brother in the backseat.

Sam looked up at him. "Yeah."

"I guess you have to count on your little machine again, you don't have as many allys as you used to."

"I never did." Sam went back to his screen.

Dean nodded slowly and went to turn the car on. He was glad Sam understood that.

As the engine kicked on, the radio came on with it, the DJ was announcing the next three songs, first of which was to be AC/DC. Dean looked over and Castiel. "Okay, this is AC/DC coming up here." he said.

"Alright..." Castiel had a vague idea of what that meant, he knew Dean loved AC/DC but he didn't know why. He didn't know why he loved any music.

"They have some of the best music ever made, they are to be respected and loved."

"Alright." Castiel was ready to learn, but the look on his face said otherwise. He was just confused.

Thunderstruck started to play and Dean turned it up. He moved his head to the beat as he put the car in gear. They started to drive away with him thumping his hand on the wheel.

Castiel titled his head and looked at the radio. "Is that how all humans sing?"

Sam laughed.

"No, not all. Just Brian Johnson." Dean said.

Castiel nodded.

Sam listened in amusement with half his attention as he browsed the internet, Dean explained the band in great detail, from their members to their drug problems to their greatest hits. Sam thought for a half a second as to why Castiel would ever need to know anything about rock music, but then it registered with him: He was in Dean's world, where everything revolved around cars, women, and rock music. Castiel didn't stand a chance.

----------------------------------------

It had been hours. Hours of looking up one useless website after another, there were no websites to tell you how to deal with an apocalypse. And if there were, they were all humorous or just plain crazy. Hours of Dean explaining bands, hoping Castiel would soon memorize as much as he had, and at least, of course, take a liking to the sounds of rock and roll. So he decided to ask him.

"So, you diggin' it?" he asked.

"What?"

"You liking the music, I mean."

Castiel nodded thoughtfully. "Yes."

Dean smiled and said, "Good." He turned his attention to the road.

Sam gave up on the computer, and took a turn driving. Dean wasn't willing to sit in the back, so they rotated and Dean became the passenger. Sam took a wide left turn and Dean watched the road turn. He saw Castiel in his periphrial vision, bopping his head to the beat of the Judas Priest song playing. Castiel was trying hard to get it right, and since no one was correcting him, he assumed he was doing alright with it. Dean let himself smile for a second and got reabsorbed in the music.

More time passed, and the sun went down, and Sam pulled into one of the first bars he found without saying a word to Dean until he parked. Dean winced at the sight. It had seemed like a good idea that morning, but now, drinking was the last thing he wanted to do.

"This place be okay?" Sam asked. He knew it was a pointless question, a bar was a bar.

"Sure." Dean said, but Sam could tell he wasn't looking forward to it.

"I know you're not much of a drinker these days."

This caught Castiel's attention. Dean was always a drinker, what was he missing?

"But," Sam continued. "we're low on funds."

"I know, it's fine." Dean shrugged. Sam _was_ a great hustler, he could probably sit back and let him do all the dirty work. So little sleep over so much time was wearing him and he didn't feel like being convincing.

Sam put an arm over the front seat and turned himself to look at the other passenger. "You gonna' be alright, Castiel? You don't have to go in if you don't want to."

"I'll be fine." Castiel was the first to get out as Sam and Dean looked at each other. They both knew it'd be a whole new adventure.

The three went inside and to the bar. Sam took a beer to the back, where the pool tables were, and Dean became the kind of guy he hated: He ordered a glass of water.

He turned to Castiel and asked, "Do you want to try something?"

The bartender brought Dean his water and looked at the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on. Dean noticed.

"He's converting." he told him.

The bartender's eyebrows sunk down in confusion.

"No, I don't think so." Castiel said.

"Two waters." Dean said.

"Better luck next time." the bartender said, serving up the second glass.

They picked them up and Dean tapped them together.

"What's that for?" Castiel asked.

"Whatever. I wouldn't turn anything down at this point."

"Good point."

They took a drink at the same time and Castiel sat down at the bar.

"So," Castiel began awkwardly. "you don't want me as a wingman?"

Dean sighed and took the stool next to him. "You really want to keep talking about this?"

"I'm making conversation. That's what humans do in bars."

The bartender was walking by as he said this, and he stopped, looked over at him but kept going.

"Talk about your french toast." Dean said, taking another drink.

"It was very pleasing."

"Good."

"Next time I'll have to have pie."

Dean considered an idea for a moment and looked over his shoulder, trying to find Sam. He was playing pool with a man half his size. Dean knew they were talking smack and he wasn't needed. He went for his wallet and dropped a few dollars on the bar.

"Hey, Cas, what do you say we go get you some pie?"

Castiel smiled. "I'd like that."

"Great, you go to the car, I'll tell Sammy we're leaving."

Castiel agreed and they stood and went their separate ways.

Dean pulled Sam aside and told him where they were going and that they'd be back for him in a little while.

"Unless you need me to stick around." he added quietly.

"No, no, it's fine. I'll see you guys later." Sam said, handing over the keys. He went back to his game and Dean headed for the door. That's when he saw Castiel, cornered by a woman. She looked very drunk and very friendly. Castiel was back into the wall, gently pulling her hands away as she kept trying to touch him all over.

"Come on," Dean heard her urge as he got closer. "I just live right down the street."

"Really, I can't." Castiel said with surprising force. He would get pushy if he had to, but he didn't want to. "I'm here with a friend."

Dean thought it was hilarious to hear Castiel's gruff voice use such a tired line.

"I have a friend for your friend, no one has to be left out." She leaned into him, Castiel pulled his leg back but his shoe hit the wall, and her leg pressed against his. Dean knew he wouldn't take being touched like that, and he walked a little faster. Castiel looked annoyed, but surprised, and Dean couldn't stand the look on his face. "Excuse you." Castiel said, pushing her back.

Dean decided on a trick even older than Castiel's line, as he walked up to the pair. "Are you ready to go, hun?" he said. He was standing just a little too close, but with Castiel, there wasn't much of a difference. The woman looked at Castiel as he looked at Dean. Dean gave him a look to go along with it and hoped he understood. Dean put an arm around Castiel's waist and Castiel quickly thought of what to do. He ran a hand through the hair on the back of Dean's head and let it rest on his shoulder.

"Whenever you are." he said.

They both looked at the woman, who dropped her shoulders. "Damn." she said. "Well..." she began as an idea came into her head. "my friend can stay here-"

Dean knew exactly where she was going and hoped he wouldn't have to explain to Castiel later. "We don't wing that way, honey." he said.

"Better luck next time." Castiel said as they walked away.

"Nice touch." Dean told him when they were out of earshot.

"Thank you." Castiel smiled. He'd impressed Dean? He was satisfied with himself.

Dean pulled off him to open the door and they walked outside. He noticed Castiel was smiling the whole ride to the closest diner. They sat across from each other in a booth and the waitress came over.

"What'll you have?" she greeted them, rather dully.

"It's a special occasion." Dean said. "My good friend, here, has never had pie. So we will need two slices of your _finest_ apple pie."

The waitress smiled at Dean's charm and walked off.

"See, _that_ is the kind of smile you want back. You understand the difference between a bar smile and a diner smile?"

"I have learned my lesson." Castiel said. "Thank you for saving me."

"Just trying to return the favor." he said, with a little smile.

Castiel smiled a little too. It wasn't a funny joke, but it made him smile anyway.

The waitress returned with the pie and set it down in front of the boys. "Enjoy." she smiled and left them alone.

Dean picked up his fork and cut off the end of the pie, then scooped it up and gestured at it with his other hand. Castiel followed his actions and nodded when it was on the fork. The waitress was watching from the counter, but neither of them noticed. She smiled and watched with curiosity as Dean did a silent count to three with his fingers. They put the pie in their mouths and Dean watched Castiel's face change.

"Holy crap!" he exclaimed, making a few people at other tables look in their direction and the waitress laugh.

Dean smiled and laughed. Castiel's eyes were huge and his mouth was hanging open. Dean could see all the pie on his tongue and laughed harder.

"You're too much, Cas." he smiled, covering his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Castiel hurriedly cut off another bite and shoved it in his mouth.**

**"Take it easy, it's not going anywhere." Dean smiled, taking another piece off his own plate.**

**Castiel stopped then started chewing slower and nodded. "All good things come with time."**

**"Sure do." Dean said.**

**They both were chewing slower and slower, staring at each other, eyes locked, as usual. Castiel put his fork down and placed a hand over Dean's, resting on the table. "Thank you for letting me ruin your life in so many ways." he said.**

**Dean smiled but he didn't know what to say to that.**

**"I've bossed you around, controlled you, disrupted the natural order of your life-" Dean smiled wider, assuming Castiel was trying to be funny. "-and I'm not even sure if it was all worth it. And now I'll constantly be around, disrupting everyday life as well. I **_**am**_** sorry, but I couldn't stay in Heaven knowing there was something I could do to protect you." The grip on his hand tightened, gently. "I **_**had**_** to fall, I **_**had**_** to come back to you."**

**Dean's hand was frozen to the table, he didn't dare move it. He didn't want to seem like he was pulling away from or leaning into the touch. It was almost a distraction as he talked. "I don't **_**have**_** a natural order of life, anymore." he began as they both smiled. "And you weren't the one bossing me around, **_**you**_** were being bossed around. I'm assuming that goes with the whole 'being an angel' thing." Dean decided to put off what he really wanted to say, and clear up the other subject that he was really wondering about. He sighed. "I got to ask, honestly, what is the point? Why bother protecting me? Or Sam, for that matter."**

**Castiel tilted his head in confusion.**

**"We're gonna die, Cas. We're **_**all**_** going to die."**

**"Why would you say that?" Castiel asked.**

**"Because it's true. I mean me and Sammy, we weren't meant for an All-American lifestyle. We were meant to be hunters, and I'm fine with that. I **_**miss**_** that. I could enjoy that life. I can't enjoy living to prolong death. And I'm more than thrilled that you're here, but I just want to know what you think is so damn special about living." Dean's eyes were watery and he hated it. He also hated how serious the conversation had turned.**

**Castiel still looked confused, and slightly hurt. He squinted and Dean looked away, feeling stupid but he still had to know.**

**"You." Castiel said, regaining Dean's eye contact.**

**"Why?" Dean said quickly.**

**"You are beautiful." He was still looking at him with a crooked head, and if there was one thing Dean didn't want to be called, it was beautiful. But damn it, Castiel looked so adorable. "You are human, yet you have lived your whole life saving people, killing things, putting yourself at risk for others. You were pulled out of Hell, you **_**never**_** gave up, not once."**

**"I sure as hell wanted to."**

**"But you didn't. Until now? Now you want to give up?"**

**"Well it's a little hard to not think about anything anymore. It's hard to ignore everything around me except my 'mission at hand'. I had a mission in life, when do I get that back? What happens when this is all over? Do we go back to hunting things? Only now it's the McQuaid brothers and Grieco?"**

**Castiel's eyebrows sank more. "I don't understand that but yes, if we win, it'll be you and me and Sam. Why shouldn't it be?" He was trying to be encouraging but it was a new thing for him. He didn't know how well it was working.**

**Dean sighed again and looked away. He hated to think of the future. He lived for the moment, just not in the way you were supposed to.**

**Castiel leaned forward and put his left hand over Dean's right. "You are my friend, Dean. I will **_**not**_** let you give up. I will follow you to the end of the world." This, again, forced Dean to look at him. Castiel's face had changed into something of annoyance but caring. "I would say you mean the world to me, but I don't really know how much that would count for right now."**

**Dean gave a scoff of laughter and Castiel's eyes softened. He was really enjoying the amount of laughter he was getting from Dean lately.**

**They just kept staring at each other. Two rugged looking, handsome men, sitting in a diner booth with pie, practically holding hands, and staring into each others eyes. Dean didn't even think about how the scene must've looked, all he could think about was how he knew Castiel didn't realize how anything he said sounded. To Castiel, it was all sincerely platonic. He loved Dean, he wanted to protect him. But in the same way Dean had loved and protected Sam what seemed like ages ago.**

**And that killed Dean, because he was trying hard to remember what the word platonic even meant, which was wasn't easy after getting wrapped up in it all.**

**He rolled his hands over under Castiel's and wrapped his fingers around his hands. Castiel rested into the grip and waited for Dean to speak.**

**"Cas..." he sighed. He opened his mouth and thought for a second about not saying what he was about to say earlier. He didn't want to wreck Castiel's innocence that he adored. "You don't know how it feels to know there's more than one person in the world who cares about you. Sometimes I wonder if I even have one. But... now I know. And I appreciate it. And I know you don't mean it like that and I'm sorry for hearing it that way, but.." He looked away and forced himself to finish. picking the lightest form of explanation. "When you say things like what you just said, you confuse me."**

**"Confuse you?" Castiel repeated. "I'm sorry, I meant-"**

"**No, I mean…" Dean cleared his throat and looked down. "You make me feel things that no other man, not even Eddie van Halen, has made me feel."**

**Castiel's eyes went wider and Dean felt his pie coming back on him.**


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I updated, but it's for an interesting reason. I had a bet going with my best friend to see who could go longer not talking about, reading or writing, or watching any videos that have to do with Supernatural. I lost Friday afternoon, after a week, and haven't shut up about the new episode since then. She's gloating, but on the bright side, you guys get a new chapter! And I get to not feel so bound up anymore.

-------------------------------------------

"You have-" Castiel began.

"Yes." Dean mumbled.

"Romantic feelings for me?"

Dean shifted and sighed. Couldn't anything just be implied? This was _such_ a chick flick moment. Dean pulled out of the semi-hand-holding and ran a palm over his mouth.

Castiel's face changed and he leaned back.

"Listen-" Dean said, but then he saw the look on Castiel's face. He looked unsettled, like someone had taken his lollipop.

"Do I have romantic feelings for you?" he asked.

Dean stuttered around a little, but finally got the question of "What?" out.

"What if what I feel for you isn't... protective, but romantic?" he thought out loud. "What's the difference?"

"I'm so not talking about this." Dean said, picking up his fork again and distracting himself. He shoved a piece of pie in his mouth and chewed quickly and hard, keeping his head down but looking up at Castiel.

"Dean." Castiel protested.

Suddenly Dean became very aware of everyone around them and hunched protectively over his pie. The older couple glancing in their general direction, the group of teenage boys in a booth across the diner, talking and laughing, and the waitress, who was really the only one paying any attention to them. But Dean was getting paranoid again.

"You started this." Castiel said.

"What?" he jerked his attention back to Castiel.

"Why did you bring this up if you don't want to discuss it?"

Dean sighed and looked at the other plate. "Eat your pie, and I'll tell you."

Castiel sighed and absently started shoveling it in at a speed much slower than Dean's.

"I can't always talk about things." he said quickly, staring at his plate. "You've got to get used to that."

"Why not?"

Dean just shook his head. "Ask Sam."

"Ask your brother about our-" Castiel was beyond confused.

"Not 'our', nothing about 'our'. Just about all this... emotion crap." Dean cringed.

"Why not 'our'?"

"I'll talk to him about that." Dean knew it was a half lie, but he would, eventually… probably.

"Well if you can talk to him about it-"

"You get in the car, I'll pay." He dropped his fork on the table and started to scoot out of the booth.

"No." Castiel said with deep, firm voice Dean couldn't say no to.

"Please." Dean breathed.

"Dean I'm very confused, about a lot of things, please help me." His voice changed so quickly, but his softer tone didn't make Dean want to change his mind. He still just wanted to leave.

"How do you think I feel? This didn't just _start_ you know. It's... since before you fell. Long before you fell. When you were an angel, do you have any idea how awkward that was? Not to mention..."

Dean looked down Castiel's torso to get him to understand.

"Angels do not have genders."

"Yeah but you're human now. So you're a dude. Like forever."

Castiel gave a shrug and nodded.

Dean did the same, thinking he proved his point, until Castiel said,

"But love is love. Two humans can have a connection without labels, can't they?"

Dean squirmed. "But.. you know..." He raised his eyebrows.

Dean made a small thrusting motion with his arms.

"_Oh_." Castiel breathed gruffly as it finally clicked. He looked down and Dean thought maybe he was feeling as awkward as he was, until he realized he was literally looking down at himself, as if studying it, wondering how it worked.

Dean thought he might completely melt and form a puddle in the floor. And he wouldn't mind that. He looked over at the waitress, who was still smiling and his eyebrows went down. She got the message and went back to her job.

Castiel looked up at Dean and asked, "Should I ask Sam about that too?"

"You know what, why the hell not?"

"Alright."

"Now can we go?" Dean asked desperately.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I haven't finished this delicious pie."

----------------------------------

In the car on the way to get Sam, Castiel sat in the front seat, both men staring out the windshield. It took all of Castiel's will to not look at Dean, but he had to, because he wanted to talk, and looking at the hunter would make him very nervous again. So Castiel just talked blindly to the road ahead of them, thinking he was doing good for doing something so human.

"You were not the only one with doubts." he began.

Dean just glanced sideways at him but Castiel knew he was listening.

"When I was taken away, my superiors saw how close I was getting to you, they understood it differently, they knew."

"They knew what?"

"They knew that I was torn."

"Torn."

"Between you and my orders. I didn't know what mattered more. For a while, I assumed it was the same love that my brothers felt for all humans, but I was told otherwise. Told that I was to stop feeling that way. Angels aren't supposed to feel anything, especially romantic love for a human."

Dean nodded that he understood.

"I tried. I tried to put the Lord above all else. But..." Castiel looked at Dean, gave him a once over. "I couldn't."

Dean flushed knowing that Castiel was looking at him, and his muscles tensed.

They sat in silence, with the radio down, until Dean pulled into the parking lot of the bar. Castiel waited in the car, watching Dean as he walked to the door and went inside. He watched the door until it opened and Sam stumbled out, with Dean guiding him by the upper arm. Castiel gave a smile at the thought that Dean would have no control from Sam's shoulder, since he was so short. Dean _was_ rather short, but so was Castiel. So, Castiel thought, it was another way that Dean was perfect

As they got closer to the car, Castiel got out and got into the back. He had learned quickly that neither of the brothers preferred to ride in the back, unless Sam was tired and wanted to stretch out. Dean always liked to sleep in the front seat.

Sam started to walk right the further they got from the door, and Castiel understood that he was faking being drunk. He started thinking of all the questions he needed to ask, he didn't want to leave anything out.


	8. Chapter 8

As Sam sat down in the Impala, Castiel scooted himself to the edge of his seat and smiled over the front bench seat, between the brothers.

Sam settled, and turned to look at Dean, his mouth open ready to say something, when he noticed Castiel, he gave a small recoil at how close he was.

"Hello." Castiel said, wide-eyed and grinning like a maniac.

"So how'd you do tonight, Sammy?" Dean asked as he drove the car out of the lot. He had seen Castiel moving in the rearview mirror, and planned to ignore him until Sam couldn't anymore.

Sam talked of his earnings while trying to avoid looking at Castiel, though he kept glancing over at him. Castiel was just watching him, still smiling, staying as close as he could through every bump and swerve in the road.

Sam finally cracked and exploded with, "Ok, what?! What are you doing?!"

Dean laughed and kept a wide smile. He knew he was about to hear a good show.

"Nothing." Castiel said.

"You're freaking me out."

"I apologize." But he kept smiling and staring.

"Cas." Sam said.

Dean's shoulders were shaking.

Castiel just shrugged as if he really did have nothing to say, maybe he was just admiring the sheen of Sam's hair.

Sam sighed and looked out his window, planning to ignore him until they got to the hotel.

"So say I wanted to procreate, how would I go about that?" Castiel asked casually.

Dean laughed out loud and Sam jerked around to look at Castiel again. "What?!"

"Just for future reference." Castiel said, his smile starting to shrink to a normal size.

Sam looked at Dean, who just stared at the road ahead. Sam knew he had been set up.

"Well..." Sam began awkwardly, turning back to face the road too. "You mean... the concept or the mechanics?"

"I just need to know about the technical side."

Sam froze for a second, thinking of exactly how to phrase everything, or where to even begin. And wondering why Dean had to be present at all. He would get way too much pleasure out of this.

"Basically, you put your..." Sam began slowly and stopped.

"Shillelagh?" Dean suggested.

"shillelagh into... a woman's..."

Dean opened his mouth and Sam told him to shut up, which only made him laugh more.

"A woman's... taco." is what Sam went with, and Dean shook his head.

"Thought I taught you better than that, Sammy." he said.

Castiel looked eager, like he should be taking notes, but less maniacal. "I understand... I think." he said. He didn't really care about the woman so much. "But what about my shillelagh? It just hangs there most of the time. Is that normal?"

Now Dean couldn't breath, his shoulders shaking violently. Sam let out an awkward sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"It won't always do that." Sam said.

"How?"

Sam turned back to stare at the dashboard again. He talked slow, picking his words carefully. "You will get.. excited, and it'll get... firm."

Dean gave a loud laugh.

"Firm." Castiel repeated thoughtfully. "Really?"

"Yeah." Sam said.

"So men always get firm when they get excited?"

"Well not excited like, riding a rollercoaster-"

"So that won't happen, that's not normal?"

"Well it doesn't usually happen."

"So you don't get firm on rollercoasters. Alright, when then?"

Dean smiled and shook his head.

"Well, say a woman comes up to you, she flirts with you, maybe rubs up on your a little..." Sam trailed off to let Castiel imagine the scene.

"That already happened." Castiel said.

"It did?" Sam looked at Dean.

"Yes, in the bar. A woman was being very friendly."

"So you got excited?" Sam asked, closing his eyes at how weird the question was.

"No."

"No?"

"No." Castiel repeated.

"You're on the same page with me here, right? I'm talking about excited like... tingly."

"Tingly."

"Like..." Sam sighed at what he had to say next. "warm."

Castiel thought for a second. "No, my shillelagh didn't get warm or tingly."

Dean shook his head again.

"Is that bad? Does that mean there's something wrong with it?"

"No, no, it just means you weren't attracted to her."

"So if I had been, it would've been tingly."

"Yes." Sam started to feel better in the idea that they were almost done.

"And tingly means excited."

"Yes."

"So when I'm attracted to someone, I'll get excited."

Sam rolled his eyes. That's how he should've said it to begin with. "Yes."

"When does it stop being tingly?"

"It'll get tingly, then firm, then... you have to relieve it."

Dean smiled wider.

"Relieve it, what does that mean?"

"Yeah, Sam, where you going with this?" Dean asked.

Sam looked at his brother, sighed, and said quietly, "I hate you."

He thought he had it phrased just right now, in a way that Castiel had to understand. "When a shillelagh and a taco.. join, it creates friction..." He could bring science into it if he wanted, why not? He knew Dean wouldn't interrupt because then he'd have to finish. "And the friction feels good. And when you've... had enough of the good feeling, your shillelagh calms down, and goes back to just hanging there."

"I see." Castiel said thoughtfully, leaning back and staring into space, deep in thought.

"That's not the only way though, you can relieve yourself without a taco." Dean said. He smacked Sam on the shoulder and said, "Right Sammy?"

"Don't touch me." Sam said. More hatred for Dean began when Castiel leaned forward again. The conversation was over, they had been done, but Dean got him going again. Oh he was going to kill him when they got to the motel.

"Without a taco? Two shillelaghs?"

Dean laughed. "Yeah, Sam, how's that work?"

"Ok, um..." Sam put a hand over his eyes and his mind raced. He thought for a minute of backing out and telling Castiel there really was no reason he'd need to know that. But then Dean would win. But Dean had won either way. Which was why he had to be killed. "Ok so, a woman's taco is in front, okay?"

"Alright."

"So when..." He sighed. "When two guys..." He cleared his throat.

"Want to create friction?" Castiel suggested.

"Yeah, yeah, when that happens, you... use.. the other side." he finished slowly.

"Really?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah."

"And that feels good too?"

Dean smiled wider and looked at Sam, who was burning horrible thoughts into Dean's eyes as he stared.

"Yeah, to some people."

"How do you decide which shillelagh to use?"

Sam knew it was almost over now, again, and if Dean would just keep his mouth shut... "It's up to the people involved." he said.

"Oh okay." Castiel rested back again.

Sam sighed in relief, and relaxed into the seat again.

"Got any other questions, Cas?" Dean asked before Sam could stop him, looking at the other man in the mirror.

"Actually, yes." Castiel leaned forward again.

Sam ran a hand over his face.

"What's the difference between a romantic relationship and a non-romantic relationship?"

Sam almost smiled at the fact that this question had nothing to do with shillelaghs. He was much more comfortable talking about relationships, and he could show Dean up a little maybe.

"In a non-romantic relationship, you care about the other person, you want to make them happy, protect them, you love them-"

"Like you and Dean." Castiel said.

Sam looked at his brother. He wasn't sure how true that was anymore.

"Yeah, like him and Dean." Dean said without letting his eyes leave the road. He knew what that meant, and he saw Sam smiling a little.

"And in a romantic relationship," Sam continued. "all those things are still there, you're just attracted to the person, and you want to..."

"Use your shillelagh." Castiel said.

"Make it sexual, yeah."

Castiel nodded slowly, but he held his position.

"Is that all you need to know?" Sam asked, almost worried about his answer.

"Yes, thank you, Sam." Now he leaned back and looked out the side window.

Sam gave another sigh and Dean was smiling at his expense again. Castiel looked content, but was trying to hard to get the right mental images in his head. He was starting to understand tingly.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam was still recovering from the conversation when Dean's phone rang. It was Bobby, telling of a hunt that had come up a few towns over.

"We'll be there by sun up." Dean promised. He put his phone away and filled Sam in. Castiel listened, and Dean noticed. He looked at him in the mirror. "You can just stick with me, you'll be fine."

"Oh _now_ you want to teach him something." Sam said quietly to Dean.

Dean smirked and said, "Might as well try to get some rest, Cas."

"Alright." he nodded.

Sam was amazed at the control Dean had over Castiel. He relaxed back in his seat and closed his eyes, letting his head rest on the window.

After a few minutes, Sam began another conversation with, "You're a dick."

"I couldn't let the wingman thing go." Dean played it off. He could just keep smiling and gloating and Sam would really buy it.

"This is perfect to you, isn't it? You get to corrupt an angel, make him just like you. You already bonded over apple pie, next thing you know, he'll be dropping boilermakers and slinging ties around doorknobs."

"Stop it, Sammy, you're gettin' me all teary eyed."

"I wouldn't be surprised if you let him drive."

"Let's not get nuts here." Dean wasn't about to tell him he was right!

"We passed nuts at the word 'procreate'."

Dean smiled. "You mind driving for a while?"

Sam said no and Dean pulled the car over. Sam got out and Dean slid over to the passenger's seat. He sunk down and spread out, Sam got behind the wheel and said he'd wake Dean in a couple hours.

Dean fell almost right to sleep, and dreamed of Castiel. They were drinking this time, doing boilermakers, but eventually they went back to the hotel. He woke up to Sam shaking his shoulder.

"What's going on?" he mumbled, sitting up and looking around. They were stopped on the side of the road.

"You were making weird noises, I..." Sam trailed off awkwardly. "I thought you might be having a bad dream or something." Dean knew he meant a dream of Hell and wished he would just forget about it.

"No, dude, I'm fine. You want me to take over?" Dean wanted to tell him the next time he woke him up from weird noises, the car better be on fire, but that put a horrible picture in his head.

"Yeah, I'm beat."

They both got out this time. Sam opened the back door and woke Castiel.

"Can't just lay in the front, can you?" Dean said knowingly as he walked around to the driver's side.

"Some of us need more room."

"Because some of us are freakishly tall."

"Better than freakishly short." He asked Castiel if he would mind moving to the front and Castiel complied, and hurried even, to get around the car and in the passenger's seat. He closed the door and, looking like he was still asleep, smiled over at Dean, who smiled back and started the car as Sam flopped around in the back.

"Ready to go, princess?" Dean asked his brother.

"Move 'em out!" Sam replied.

Dean pulled the car back onto the road and looked over at Castiel, he was already sleeping soundly. Or so he thought. A second later, Castiel was moaning and moving a little. Dean heard Sam give a little laugh, but Dean didn't think it was funny. He was afraid of what might come next.

"Dean... oh, Dean..." Castiel breathed out, his hips moving in slightly provocative ways.

Dean's eyes went wide and Sam sat up in the back with a low brow.

"Did he just say...?" Sam asked quietly.

"Shut up." Dean said.

Sam choked on a laugh. "You guys got really close over the pie huh?"

"Shut up."

"Explains all the questions."

"Shut _up_."

"I can get my own room at the next motel if you want some time alone with your man."

"Are you done?" Dean asked forcefully.

"Oh I won't be done for a long time."

"Go to sleep."

"Whatever you say, lover boy." Sam laid back down with a smile.

"Bitch." Dean mumbled.

"Jerk."

--------------------------

A few hours later, they were in town, but it was 4 AM. The sun wouldn't come up for another two hours, and Dean had no idea where Bobby was. So he pulled into an alley and shut off the engine, might as well snooze for a little while longer. The clicking of the keys as he pulled them out of the ignition woke Castiel and he stretched his shoulders. He was still half-asleep, Dean could tell by the look on his face, the hung-over eyes and the drunken smile. He slid over closer, and the farther he got, the closer Dean edged to the door. He ended up leaning against it.

"You want to create sexual friction with me." Castiel said as their bodies touched. Dean had no where left to back up to. He also didn't know how to respond to that, but knew Castiel was just being funny. "He could've used proper terms. I would've understood." Castiel leaned his head over on Dean's shoulder and took a long quiet sniff of Dean's scent, and smiled.

Dean looked over the seat to make sure Sam was still asleep. "Guys don't do that." Dean said, moving his head a little to rub his cheek against Castiel's hair.

"But now I'll never be able to eat tacos, it'll be uncomfortable. And I really wanted to try tacos."

Dean smiled. "I don't think either of us will be enjoying tacos for a while."

Castiel sighed sleepily and relaxed into Dean, who looked over the seat again at Sam, still sleeping, before he let his hand settle on Castiel's leg. He rested his head on Castiel's, closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**It was luck that Sam woke up first. He stretched his legs, sticking his feet through the open rear window. He rested like that for a second before starting to sit up. That's when he noticed there was only one head visible over the seat in front of him. He sat up straight and leaned over the seat, looking down at the sight before him and using all his willpower to hold his laughter. He was already reaching for his phone.**

**Dean was slumped back against the driver's side door, his legs stretched out on the floor, his arms wrapped around Castiel. Castiel's head was resting on Dean's chest, and he was laying completely on the seat. They both looked too comfortable with each other, and didn't move a muscle as Sam got out.**

**He called Bobby and cut him off as he began talking about the hunt. "Sorry, but I got something better to tell you first." he said.**

**"It better be good, Sam." Bobby said, a little irked that he'd been interrupted.**

**Sam bent down to look in the window. "Oh, it is."**

**He sent the photo to Bobby's phone, and Bobby told him to meet him at a hotel on 12th Street. Sam had left the door open to avoid waking them, and now he shoved it closed with his foot, watching Dean jump and look up at Sam still peering through the window, and then down at Castiel, who was starting to stir. Sam smiled an evil smile and walked off towards the street to tell Bobby where they were.**

**Dean let his hands move around over Castiel a little before removing them. "Cas, wake up. Sam saw us." he said. He didn't shove him off, he was just going to let him get off him at his own pace. It wasn't like he really minded being laid on.**

**Castiel just brought his head back to look up at Dean. "Maybe now would be a good time for you to talk about 'our'."**

**"I don't think so, I think he's forming his own opinion."**

**Castiel sat up and scooted back over the passenger's seat. "I understand." Castiel said.**

**"I will tell him." Dean said, feeling like an ass. He sat up too, and tried to make Castiel smile with, "He heard you earlier too."**

**It worked, Castiel smiled a little, and put his head down. This time it **_**was**_** out of embarassment.**

**"You weren't dreaming about tacos." Dean said.**

**"No, no tacos." Castiel shook his head. "The visual did help my understanding, though."**

**Dean flushed now. He looked away.**

**"I'll follow your lead." Castiel said. He got out and climbed in the back, slid over to sit behind Dean. Sam was walking back towards the car now.**

**"Cas." Dean said.**

**Their eyes met in the rear view mirror.**

**"I dreamed about your too."**

**Castiel smiled, Sam got in the car, and they both looked out the windows.**

**"So?" Dean said, figuring he was on the phone with Bobby. "Where we headed?"**

**Sam told him and they took off. They were greeted at the Midnight Motel with a smile from the older hunter. It wasn't a normal Bobby smile, mostly because any smile for Bobby wasn't normal. Dean instantly figured out what had happened.**

**"You woke the sleeping beauties just to see me?" he asked.**

**Dean closed his eyes and Sam smiled ear to ear. Castiel looked to Dean for what to say.**

**"Do we really have time for this?" Dean asked.**

**"The world's ending, but we can make time." Bobby said.**

**Dean assumed Bobby would be the first to smack Sam on the back of the head, he could hear him saying 'Quit goofin' off, you idgit, we have work to do!', but that wasn't happening. This was just too good to pass up. And now Dean had to figure out what to do. He needed to talk to Sam alone, but that meant leaving Castiel with Bobby, and that just didn't seem like a good idea.**

**Sam shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and sat down at the table, still looking smug, next to Bobby.**

**Castiel was still silent.**

**"Can we just get to the case?" Dean thought it was enough just knowing that both of them had knew about the supposedly accidental sleeping arrangement, they didn't have to start making jokes... but he knew they would.**

**They all sat down at the table as Bobby laid out newspapers in front of them.**

**"Four murders in the past week," he said. "the bodies have been found in parks, drained of blood and carved up almost beyond recognition."**

**"Black Dahlia copycat." Sam remarked, picking up a newspaper and reading it over.**

**Castiel watched him and picked one up too, holding it just as he was and reading it over. He didn't know why, or what he was looking for, but he was doing something right, so he kept doing it.**

**"Sounds like a serial to me." Dean agreed.**

**"Might be, but there's a lot of construction in the area, might be stirring up something."**

**Dean nodded and leaned back in his chair.**

**"The last victim worked at Henry's Steakhouse on St. Joe," he said to Dean. "did you and your lover want to go check it out?"**

**Dean gave him a sour face and decided to not let him win. "I'd love to, but he's not a legal AKC dog yet."**

**Castiel looked up with a puzzled expression.**

**"Oh yeah, I guess we'll have to get him fitted." Sam said, holding his paper down to look at Dean and Bobby.**

**"Dog? Fitted? Fitted for what?" Castiel asked, putting his paper down entirely.**

**"IDs, badges, papers, anything you'll need." Dean said. "It's too risky for him to be in the field without cover."**

**Sam gave a laugh. "In the field without cover? What is this, **_**NCIS**_**?"**

**"I'll pull a few strings." Bobby said. Both of the brothers figured he would, Bobby had more strings than anybody. "Till then, he's better off here with me, doing research."**

**"Research." Castiel repeated, nodding.**

**"So take Thelma with you." Bobby said, jerking his head in Sam's direction.**

**Ten minutes later, they were suited up-- literally, and climbing into the Impala with a rough idea of where St. Joseph Street was.**

**"I need to talk to you." Dean said. It felt weird to say, and it was weird for Sam to hear.**

**"Alright..." he said, turning the volume knob until it clicked off.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Dean could feel Sam's eyes on him, and he thought back to the fact that Castiel had had enough consideration to not look at him. But no matter what, this had to be said, the air had to be cleared.**

**"Me and Cas talked in the diner." he began. "He told me he had a dream about you."**

**Okay, so he would tell the truth eventually. Later.**

**"Me?!"**

**"He wanted to tell you, but I told him it might freak you out."**

**Sam stuttered over his words, but finally said, "Yeah, just a bit! Wait, he dreamed about you!"**

**"I told him to."**

**"You told him to."**

**"Yeah, well, I told him to try." Dean shrugged. "I can handle that, Sammy, I'm used to being admired by all. Don't think I haven't been approached by the occasional biker."**

**Sam rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you tell him to try Sarah Michelle Gellar?"**

**Dean looked sideways at him. "He obviously doesn't go for that."**

**"Okay, Freddie Prinze Jr. then."**

**"You know how much explaining that would've taken?"**

**"Well-" Sam stumbled. "Why was he dreaming about me?"**

**Instead of answering, Dean gave him a look to let him wonder, and was relieved that he was so flustered, it seemed to be working so far, but he knew eventually Sam would get over his awkward feeling and confront him about the truth. But he could think about that later, since he was equally relieved hat they'd found Henry's Steakhouse. Now they had to get out and go into undercover mode, no more talking about Castiel until they got back in the car.**

**So of course the time seemed to pass too quickly. It wasn't really that big of a job, they went in and asked the hostess about the victim, she gave long, confused answers but quickly showed them the way to Henry, the owner, who gave much shorter, annoyed answers. Neither of them knew much or seemed suspicious, so the boys left with a plan to go back to the hotel.**

**"They were helpful." Dean stated sarcastically as they got into the car.**

**They talked a little about what little information they'd collected, before Sam went back to the last conversation.**

**"So Castiel has feelings for me?" he asked, in a tone that said he knew how ridiculous it sounded.**

**"No, no," Dean assured him. "I think it's just a lust thing."**

**Sam's eyes went wide and he looked at the dashboard. He couldn't see Dean's small smile.**

**"So, what, does he stare at me and everything? I mean I know he stares, but... And how long?"**

**Dean couldn't believe how easily Sam believed this whole thing. Did he really think he was that pretty? "Oh he stares. And have you noticed that he's been asking a lot about how to do things, doing things after he sees us do them..." Dean trailed off leaving Sam thinking hard to understand what he meant.**

**"Yeah..."**

**"He hasn't asked about showering."**

**Then it clicked. "Oh my god!" Sam exclaimed and Dean tried hard to hide his amusement.**

**"And he told me he's enjoyed the view for a long while now." Dean added.**

**Sam gave a ragged sigh. "What are we going to do?" he asked.**

**"We? What 'we'? I already took care of it."**

**"You didn't take care of it, you told him to dream about you?!" he said like it had just now entered his brain.**

**"It was all I could think of!"**

**"If he's going to be with us, permanently, we need to talk."**

**Dean could only hope he would decide to bring it up in front of Bobby. Oh he had so won. Again.**

**Back at the hotel, Dean winked at Castiel as he walked to the table. Bobby was in the bathroom.**

**"Hey, Cas." Sam said, sitting down in the next chair.**

**Castiel smiled and nodded, like he would normally do. But he was clever enough to know that the wink meant 'play along'.**

**"What'd you find out?" Sam asked, taking on a friendly tone, and Dean didn't know if it was on purpose or not.**

**Bobby came back from the bathroom and Dean filled him in as Castiel told Sam the points of interest in what he'd read.**

**Dean figured Sam would wait until they were in their own hotel room to talk to Castiel, seriously, about the apparent issue at hand. That didn't mean Dean couldn't play with him. Sam got his laptop out of the Impala and Dean jumped on the chance, asking, "Why don't you show Cas how to work that thing?"**

**Sam sighed but smiled. He set it on the table and opened it, sat down and though Castiel wasn't aware of what Sam thought, Dean knew he would play it off without even knowing it.**

**Castiel pulled his chair up right next to Sam's, when he sat down, their knees touched and Castiel reached an arm around Sam, to rest it on the back of the chair. He leaned in to look at the screen and Sam looked sideways at him, careful not to move. He could feel Castiel's arm touching his back, without hesitation.**

**Castiel noticed he wasn't moving, and looked at him, and also noticed how tense he looked, he studied his face for a second, but Sam thought he was checking him out.**

**"So," Sam began, reaching for the keys and typing in his password.**

**Dean smiled behind his paper and Bobby snickered at how uncomfortable Sam was. Dean didn't really think there was a reason for Castiel to use the computer, he'd been imagining Sam staying at the hotel doing the research, while he and Castiel did the investigating.**

**And he realized, losing interest in his paper but still holding it up to make himself look useful, that he was thinking about the future. Willingly. He didn't know when, or exactly how, they would get there, but maybe there would be a future, maybe it **_**could**_** be the three of them, someday. Maybe. He smiled at the feeling of hope, at the fact that he was looking forward to something again. And stole a look at Castiel over his paper.**

**Castiel saw and smiled back, then went back to staring at the computer as Sam continued talking him through the technology.**

**An hour later, Sam asked Dean to walk to the check in with him so they could get a room. But when they got outside, Sam stopped at the Impala.**

**"I think I should stay here and do some more research, why don't you and Cas get a room and I'll stay here with Bobby. I can sleep in the car."**

**It took him a second to see through what Sam was really saying, and he laughed. "He's not gonna' **_**do**_** anything." he said.**

**Sam sighed. "I know, I'm not scared of him-"**

**"You so are." Dean smiled.**

**"I just don't want his eyes on me, okay?"**

**Dean didn't know which way to go with this. He could keep making Sam uncomfortable, and encourage him to talk to Castiel, but he really liked the idea of their own hotel room....**

**"Fine." Dean said, still feeling like he had one up on Sam. He followed him back into the hotel room and Sam explained what he was planning to the other two.**

**"Sounds fine to me." Bobby said. "We can have this wrapped up by the weekend."**

**"Alright, come on, Cas." Dean said. Castiel got up and joined him at the door without a word. Dean gave Sam one last smile, said goodbye to Bobby, and walked with Castiel to the Impala to get his bag. Castiel waited patiently on the sidewalk, until Dean came back and they headed to the office.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Some chapters are bolded, and the last one was underlined as well. I have no idea why this is happening, and I don't specifically do these things, so I also have no idea how to change it. Just ignore whatever format they happen to be, and know it's on not on purpose.**

**-------------------------------------**

**The office was like a bathroom: it was cold and hard, and harshly lit. The clerk smiled politely at them, and they walked up to the counter.**

**"Hi." Dean smiled. "We need a room." He went for his wallet.**

**The man looked through the book on the desk and back up at Dean. "We have one king left, you're just in time."**

**Dean glanced at Castiel and nodded, "Great, perfect timing." He handed over a credit card.**

**For once, he was going to let people assume whatever they wanted.**

**They finished the transaction and Dean pocketed the keys, Castiel led the way out and they headed to the room.**

**Dean was smiling, but Castiel was nervous. He didn't know what was about to happen, he was excited but he didn't know what to be excited **_**for**_**...**

**They walked into the room, Dean set his bag in the chair at the table and looked around as Castiel closed the door.**

**"So this is different." Dean began. There usually wasn't conversation in the hotels for him, when he'd brought someone back, it was straight to the fun stuff. But this was different, this was Cas...**

**Castiel looked at the bed and went to sit down on it. Dean noticed and turned to look at him. They just stared at each other, but not the normal, deep stare they shared. This was a little panicked, a little uneasy, and very wide eyed. Dean wasn't really seeing the messy hair, the jeans and T-shirt, those ridiculous shoes. He was seeing what could be happening 10 minutes later, it was playing in his head, clear and bright. He was eager, and he felt stupid for feeling nervous. He shoved his hands in his front jeans pockets and Castiel could hear him swallow hard.**

**"So does the friction begin now?" he asked.**

**Dean gave a nervous laugh and tried to relax a little. This was no time for him to be nervous, he had to take control. "Well, we need to get warmed up first." he said. "If you want to do this."**

**Castiel ran through a lot of things in his head. "Jogging?" he guessed.**

**Dean gave another little laugh. "No, not exactly."**

**"What then?" He couldn't think of anything else.**

**"Cas," Dean smiled. "don't talk."**

**Dean assumed a certain amount of instinct would take over in Castiel. He **_**was**_** human now, there had to be **_**something**_** that told him to some extent what he was supposed to do, but maybe he needed some reassurance. "Just do what comes natural." Dean said, stepping closer and leaning down to Castiel. He put a hand on Castiel's neck and their eyes met in that deep stare for a quick second before they finally kissed.**

**And oh God, it felt good. To finally touch and feel Castiel. One hand ran up into his hair, and the other found his side.**

**Castiel put his hands on Dean's hips and pulled him with him as he leaned back on the bed. Dean willingly put a knee up on the bed and let himself fall with Castiel. Their hip bones touched before their bodies relaxed against each other, with anything but relaxed movements, as they started to move with each other.**

**Meanwhile, Sam was explaining to Bobby, for some unknown reason, about Castiel. Bobby of course found it amusing.**

**"Are you two just sick of women? What is it about this guy that's so damn appealing?" he asked.**

**"No! I didn't do anything, I mean he didn't do anything either, just--"**

**"And what about Dean?"**

**"Come on, Bobby, Dean?" Sam laughed.**

**Bobby just shook his head and went back to reading, but Sam knew that meant he was sticking by what he said, and it got him thinking. "Bobby, Dean would never... Not a guy."**

**"Whatever you think, Sam."**

**Now Sam was **_**really**_** curious.**

**And Bobby would get really cocky if he knew he was right, if he saw Dean straddling Castiel on the still-made bed, all the thrusting and ragged breathing. Their shirts had been jerked off and thrown to the floor, and to Dean's slight surprise, he felt Castiel's fingers slide between his jeans and belt and start to tug at the buckle.**

**There was no turning back now. Or there wouldn't have been if Dean's cell phone hadn't rang.**

**"Son of a bitch." he breathed out. He knelt upright and pulled it out of his pocket and went to sit on the end of the bed.**

**He flipped it open. "Yeah, Bobby?" he answered, still trying to catch his breath. Castiel didn't make it any easier when he got behind Dean and started sucking on the side of his neck, his arms wrapping around Dean's chest.**

**"Just wanted to let you know we're giving up, turning in, Sam'll be by the room around 8 to head out and investigate the next spot."**

**"Sounds great, Bobby." Dean said, trying to not sound distracted.**

**"Are you alright, boy?"**

**"Yeah, yeah, I'm just tired."**

**"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow."**

**"Yeah."**

**Dean hung up and Bobby looked away from the phone laying on the table as the speakerphone clicked off, and up at Sam. "Either Dean found a woman between here and there, or he's teaching Castiel a few more things about being human." he said.**

**"Wow." was all Sam could say.**

**"Now, call me crazy, but I think Castiel being warm for your form was just an excuse, you egotistical beauty queen."**


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: This is the last chapter before I take a break from fic-writing for National Novel Writing Month. I will NOT abandon this fic, and I will pick it back up in December. Until then, you get an extra long chapter, enjoy!

___________________________

Dean let out a huge breath, let his phone fall to the floor and turned around to tackle Castiel back onto the bed. Their mouths met again and Castiel's hands slid slow and hard over Dean backside and grabbed on tight.

For this moment, Castiel wasn't worried about getting anything right. He couldn't focus on much more than the feeling in his lower half, a sense in the back of his head telling him to never let go, and the warm body on top of him. He didn't know why, but he really liked all these feelings. And he was definitely starting to understand the tingly, warm, firm explanation.

The bed was really starting to move under them now, especially when Castiel pulled Dean down tight against him, as Dean moaned against his mouth, making Castiel want to smile. They moved with each other, and while Castiel's hands were firmly planted, Dean's were everywhere.

A very short while later, Castiel said, "I am definitely warmed up."

Dean gave a breathless laugh and nodded. "Me too." The room was dark. He just realized he'd never turned on the lights. And the curtains were closed. And they were on the biggest bed in the world, just waiting to be unmade. And Dean was having no problems getting warmed up, but he wasn't _ready_.

"So... now?" Castiel huffed as Dean kissed his neck.

Dean pulled back to look Castiel in the eyes, and Castiel adopted a confused look.

"You don't want to?" he asked, seeing the unsure thoughts behind his eyes.

Dean just sighed and kissed him one more time. "I'm tired." he said. He slung a leg over Castiel and got off the bed, and started looking around the floor for his shirt.

Castiel sat up and watched him, curiously, and feeling a little unwanted. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, nothing at all." Dean said, not realizing the other man's worry as he put his shirt back on and picked Castiel's up. He walked to the end of the bed and handed it to him. "This is still... different."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's not a bad thing-"

"Then why can't we...?" Castiel gestured seriously to the bed.

"It's new. And as much as I hate to say it, because I sound like a girl, it'll take some getting used to."

Castiel nodded that he understood, and tried to think of any bit of information he'd remembered that might help in this situation. They only thing he thought of, he knew Dean wouldn't go for, but he might as well try it. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Dean sighed and gave him a look.

"I didn't think so." He stood and walked around to the side of the bed.

"You tired?" Dean asked, walking to the other side.

"Sure." He wasn't really, but Dean was, so he could fake it. He put his shirt on and Dean took his jeans off, Castiel followed suit this time, and as soon as he got under the covers, decided it was much more comfortable to sleep without pants.

Dean slid under the blanket and laid on his back, Castiel looked over at him and Dean noticed. They watched each other, Dean waiting and Castiel thinking.

"Well, come'ere and lay with me." Dean said like Castiel was begging for it, he didn't like all the space between them. He stretched his arm out beside him for Castiel to lay in.

Castiel scooted over to him and rolled to his side, he put an arm around Dean and relaxed against him as arms wrapped around him.

"I'm just," Dean began unexpectedly. Castiel restrained from looking at him, trying to keep Dean comfortable. "having trouble understanding this. That's all."

Castiel didn't understand what he meant, and he wanted to ask him to explain, but he knew he couldn't. He wondered if eventually he wouldn't want to talk about anything either.

The next morning, Sam stopped into Bobby's room to shower and change before heading to Dean's. He was roughly on time, it was a few minutes after 8, but they had no appointments to keep, so he didn't think much of it. He did think of the fact that Dean would be ready to go when he got there, since he knew what time he was coming by, but knowing Dean, he'd have to wait for him. He knocked on the door and waited, no response, so he knocked again, louder this time. The curtains were closed, and he could probably pick the lock, but he wanted Dean to have to get out of his comfy bed to open the door.

Inside the room, the second round of knocking had woke Castiel up, and he shook Dean. "Wake up, there's someone at the door." But Dean just rolled over, away from him, leaving Castiel to get up and answer the third set of knocking.

Sam sighed and checked his watch after knocking a third time, and finally the door opened. He was ready to yell at his brother to get ready, but he was taken by surprise when Castiel opened the door. He just wasn't expecting to see him in boxers.

"Good morning, Sam." Castiel said politely, smiling. He had obviously just woken up.

"Morning, Castiel." Sam said.

Castiel stood to the side and gestured for him to come in. Sam saw the king size bed as he walked in, and Dean spread out over one side, and smirked. Both sides of the bed were unmade, jeans were on the floor, and Dean's bag was untouched on the table. Castiel excused himself to the bathroom and Sam took the chance to go over to Dean and wake him. He knelt down so he was level with Dean and got in his face.

"Time to get up, Romeo, we got work to do." he said.

Dean groaned a little and said, "Five more minutes, Cas."

Sam shook his head. "Get up!" he shouted and stood up.

Dean jumped and his eyes went wide as he realized Sam was in the room, and he looked over his shoulder at the rest of the bed. It was empty, so that was a good thing, but his face still turned sour and serious.

Before Sam even said anything, Dean pointed a finger at him. "Shut the hell up."

Sam laughed, shrugged and held his hands up.

"This was all they had open."

"I don't believe you." Sam said, smiling.

"Shut up."

"So cuddling in the car wasn't enough for you?"

"I'm gonna' kill you in your sleep." Dean said, nodding. He looked past Sam, at Castiel, as he came out of the bathroom.

"Is everything okay?" Castiel asked.

"Oh yeah." Sam smiled, turning to him.

Dean sighed, not looking forward to the rest of the day. He had planned, very quickly, to get ready before 8, and wait for Sam outside, so he'd never have to see the king, and wouldn't walk in when Dean wasn't expecting him. Unfortunately that plan was distracted by Castiel's tongue.

"We didn't do anything." Castiel said to Sam. Dean's eyes darted back up to him and Sam turned around to look at him.

"Oh?" Sam said.

Dean was shaking his head behind Sam, hoping Castiel would get the idea to stop talking. Castiel understood, but he ignored it. He knew Dean would take his time telling Sam how they felt for each other, and he wanted to try pulling one over on Dean, after seeing the brothers do it so often to each other.

"We almost did, but we didn't."

Dean dropped his head and sighed again. Sam turned to Dean and Castiel smiled widely. "Almost?" Sam asked. "Stage fright?"

Dean looked up at his brother. "I had no trouble at all, thank you." As soon as it left his mouth, Dean wasn't sure if that helped him or made things worse. He decided it was the latter when Sam smirked and nodded.

Sam wanted to talk to Dean seriously, alone, so as much as he didn't want to stop the conversation, he started telling him about the next spot they had to investigate while Dean got out of bed and got dressed. And it was weird for Sam, seeing Castiel putting his pants on in a hotel room, while Dean was putting _his_ pants on, after they had spent the night together.

"What should I do?" Castiel ended up asking when Sam was finished.

"I'll find you a place to get a custom suit, give you somethin' spiffy to go along with those shoes." Dean said.

Castiel smiled at Dean but he wouldn't return the look. Sam noticed and figured it was because of him, and Castiel didn't seem to think much of it.

Sam didn't say anything more, Dean was back in control of the situation when he slid behind the wheel of the Impala and turned up the radio. Castiel noticed, and figured that meant he was in a better mood, since he hadn't messed with the radio much for the past two days. Judas Priest was on again, they were becoming Castiel's favorite, and he smiled when he realized he remembered all the lyrics so far in the song.

They found a men's suit shop on Main street and Sam waited in the car while Dean took Castiel inside. They walked to the counter and Dean started the show for the salesman.

"Hi, my buddy here just got a promotion and he needs a new suit, do you do custom jobs?"

"Anything you want, anyway you want it." the man smiled.

"Journey." Castiel said to Dean. The man didn't say anything but looked at Castiel, as if he would explain what he just said. Dean turned to Castiel, smiled, taken off guard, and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to play it off like a friendly smack on the shoulder, but it didn't quite work when he couldn't stop looking at him. He couldn't break character, he had to just keep going, even though he didn't want to. But he knew Castiel saw how much he appreciated that simple word.

A phone rang in the back room and the salesman with a "George" nametag excused himself to go answer it, but Dean and Castiel were in a stare, and barely noticed. All Dean knew was the man was gone.

"You're learning fast, young grasshopper." he said.

Castiel smiled wider.

Dean felt stupid for being proud and feeling a little excited. He kissed Castiel on the cheek and said, "I'll pick you up in half an hour."

"Will you be alright without me?" Castiel asked. He had asked the same thing yesterday when he stayed with Bobby.

Dean smiled again and nodded. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Castiel watched Dean walk out the door and George came back and looked in the direction he was still staring.

"Where'd your friend go?" he asked.

Castiel didn't look at him, he was still watching Dean through the glass storefront, get in the Impala, start the engine, shift and pull out of the parking space. "He's not just my friend."

Meanwhile, Sam had been watching, and he let Dean start the car and pull back onto the road before he started talking.

"Okay, he's not here now, you can talk to me." he said.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"Be honest, here, Dean. Tell me what's going on."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you're Sandra Bullock."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I heard everything, Dean. Bobby had you on speaker last night."

Dean knew how he sounded on the phone last night. And thanks to Castiel this morning, he had no way of covering up and back tracking. That doesn't mean he had to look at Sam while he told him everything, so he stared at the road, and was relieved when Sam let his eyes wander to the side window. "I didn't want to tell you, and I don't know why I didn't want to tell you."

"Listen, it's different, yeah, but, it's no big deal."

"It's no big deal? It's no big deal that I shacked up with Castiel last night?"

"No, Dean, it's not." Sam was honestly fine with it, and he didn't see any problems Dean might have with it. "It was weird at first… but I can get used to it."

"Fine, _you _can get used to it. You know me, Sam. Girls never had cooties when I was a kid."

"I know." Sam smiled.

"Janitors closets with head cheerleaders, women's restrooms and waitresses... In all that, I _never_ looked at another guy, until we met Cas."

Sam looked over at him. "Until we _met_ Cas? How long have you felt this way?"

Dean cringed at the question, he really didn't want to be having this conversation, and at least wished Sam would be more vague. "A while."

Sam hadn't expected that.

"It scares me that I don't know myself like I thought I did." Dean said.

Now Sam understood, and told him so with a, "_Oh._"

"Yeah, oh."

"Everybody's different, Dean, it takes some people longer than others."

Dean shifted uncomfortably, and pulled at his tie a little.

"You might just be," Sam knew he couldn't use the word he wanted, it'd just make Dean uncomfortable, and honestly Sam was a little uneasy too, but he figured he'd say it anyway. "bisexual."

Dean sighed and shifted again.

"You're the one wanting to label everything, and that _does _require words you might not like." Sam was giving up being gentle, and was getting a little annoyed. "You want to know what I think?"

"Oh yes, please enlighten me, this isn't awkward enough without you pitching in your two cents."

Sam rolled his eyes again but went on anyway. "I think you and Castiel have a connection, and if he had been in a woman when you met him, you two would've been together a long time ago."

"But he's not _in_ a guy anymore, he _is_ a guy. Angels don't have genders, _humans do_."

"Get over it, Dean. I mean you obviously don't have any problem accepting it, or I wouldn't have seen any pants on the floor today."

"Where the hell are we going?" Dean asked, looking around for street signs. Sam knew that meant he was done talking, but probably was honestly lost, they _had_ been driving for a while. Sam started to look around too, and wasn't going to admit he couldn't remember the street name.


	14. Chapter 14

Castiel sat on the curb, in front of the suit shop, waiting with his new professional attire in a dress bag laid over his legs. The brothers had been gone for nearly an hour, and worried as he was, Castiel was patient. He had been singing Styx songs he'd memorized, not meaning to do so to pass the time, but honestly because he couldn't get them out of his head.

He didn't know what the brothers would get into when they got where they were going, so who knew how long they would be gone. But Dean had promised they'd return 20 minutes ago. And Castiel would've given anything to be able to zap himself to wherever they were, to check on them, to just be there.

He thought to do the next best thing: He went back into the store and asked to use their phone.

"Hello?"

"Bobby, something's wrong." he said.

"Cas? Where are you?"

"Dean dropped me off at a suit shop, he's been gone for an hour."

Bobby sighed on the other end.

"I think he's in trouble, Bobby."

"I'll come get ya' and we'll go after 'em." Bobby told him.

Castiel told him what street he was on, and rushed outside to wait for him, after thanking George for letting him use his phone. Bobby pulled up a short while later, Castiel threw his suit onto the back seat and jumped in.

"I should've gone with them." he said, shaking his head, staring out the windshield. He was fidgeting, and Bobby could tell he was obviously nervous. That didn't mean he had to comfort him. "I should've never left his side, if anything's happened to them-"

Bobby sighed and rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright, enough."

Castiel looked over at him.

"You think latching onto that idgit's gonna' keep him outta' trouble?"

"Well-"

"Nobody can keep Dean outta' trouble, trouble follows that boy like a damn puppy."

Castiel looked away. It made him think about what Dean had said in the diner. Maybe Bobby was just as convinced as Dean was that they were all just destined to die. And maybe today was that day. A horrible feeling sunk through Castiel's chest, and he suddenly wished Bobby would drive a little faster.

"You do know where we're going, don't you?" he asked Bobby 15 minutes later.

"Sorry, princess, I've never been in this town before, I'll try to get you to the ball on time." he replied.

Castiel just stared.

"There it is." Bobby spotted the Impala parked along the street on the edge of town, in front of an old, boarded-up diner.

"Well this looks promising." Bobby remarked as he pulled up behind the other car.

Castiel hurried to get out of the car, and Bobby stopped him from going any further. "We don't know what's in there, we gotta' take it slow." he said. He pulled a gun out of the glove box and got out. "Let me lead. Keep your trap shut and your eyes open."

Castiel wondered why humans called it a trap as they circled the diner, looking for a way in. Bobby found a door in the back and they snuck in through the kitchen, all was clear as they made their way into the dining room.

It was ramshackle in every sense of the word, with old tables and stools everywhere. There was dirt and dust, grime and mold on almost every surface, and just beyond the counter, were two chairs back to back, holding the bound Winchester brothers.

Sam sensed movement and looked over at their rescuers, his nose was bleeding and he looked ragged, but he was alert compared to Dean, who was slumped over, being held up only by the rope on his wrists.

Bobby held Castiel back until Sam said, "They're gone, it's safe."

Castiel ran forward to Dean and knelt in front of him, he lifted his head up and surveyed the damage. Dean was unconscious, bloody and beaten, and Castiel couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"What the hell happened?" Bobby asked Sam as he untied him first.

Sam explained that it was a set up, Dean had been tortured by three demons, and Sam had finally managed to get control of one, and threaten them into leaving. "They were trying to get Dean to root for their side." he finished.

Bobby shook his head and gave the older brother a look as close to sympathy as Bobby could give, and untied him. He fell forward into Castiel, who pulled him closer. "You'll be alright."

"Can you get him outside?" Bobby asked, keeping his distance and not seeming to be too worried. He knew Dean was tough.

"Yes." Castiel said, wondering if he really could.

"Alright, come on." Bobby said to Sam. They went outside to plan the next move.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I know the last chapter was pretty short, but I posted a separate one-shot to make up for it. I'm still getting back into the swing of things, but like I said: I will NOT abandon this fic. On a completely unrelated note, Bobby is the most fun character to write ever.

* * *

Castiel put his arms around Dean, and felt him taking shallow breaths.

"Wake up." he whispered, wishing like hell he knew what in the world to do. If he didn't move him soon, Bobby might come in and check on them, so he figured it'd be best to take him to the car as quickly as possible. He jumped when Dean coughed suddenly and moved a little. Castiel pushed him back by the shoulders and Dean was barely able to lift his own head enough to look him in the eyes.

"Cas." he breathed. He put on a smile that faded.

"Dean." Castiel's eyes glazed over with tears as Dean's fluttered open and shut.

"Get me the hell outta' here, Cas." he struggled to say.

Castiel just nodded and sniffed. He was oblivious to the fact that he was practically crying over the helplessness of the situation. He pulled Dean to his feet and put one of the hunter's limp arms over his shoulders, he held him around the waist and half-walked half-dragged the man he couldn't live without out the diner.

Sam and Bobby didn't notice when they came out, still busy talking at Bobby's car, and Castiel wasn't about to bother them to ask for help. He leaned Dean against the Impala for a second while he opened the back door and awkwardly sat him down and let him lay back, and Dean gave a groan.

Castiel went around the car and to the other back door, he put his arms under Dean's and around his chest and slid him over. "Sit up." he grunted as he pulled to help Dean do as asked. He leaned him on the seat while he closed the door. Giving a huffy sigh as he walked back around the car, he shoved the back door shut and got in the front seat.

"Castiel." Dean said. "Thank you."

Castiel couldn't stand to look over the seat at him, he just put his head down and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

He gave another surprised jerk as the driver's side door opened and Sam got in. "We're following Bobby to the hotel, I'm going back out, you're gonna' stay with Dean." he said as he started the car.

Castiel was more than happy to stay with Dean, and would've probably refused to do otherwise, but he had to say, "Isn't that dangerous?"

"I can take care of myself." he replied.

Castiel knew that meant more than it let on, but let it go unmentioned. They hadn't gone more than two blocks before Sam glanced over his shoulder at Dean at a stoplight. He was asleep, which meant this was a rare opportunity to talk to Castiel alone.

"Don't worry." is what he started with as they took off again.

Castiel looked over at him.

"About Dean." Sam added. "He'll be alright."

"I can only hope." Castiel said too honestly. "You are used to it, you have no idea what it's like to suddenly not have the power to help someone you care about."

"But I do know what it's like to do without something like that."

Castiel nodded. "True. But you can use yours when you need to." Castiel looked back at Dean. "Dean needs me and I can't help him."

"Dean doesn't need you to fix him. He got by before he got his own Frankie Avalon, he'll get by after too."

Castiel looked confused again but it didn't stop Sam.

"Dean _does need you to be with him. Just because you're human, doesn't mean you can't be there when he needs you."_

_Castiel put his head down._

"_It's not your job to protect him anymore."_

"_It's not a matter of having to anymore. I want to."_

_Sam was quiet for a minute, weighing his options. It would be a while before he would get another chance to say a few of the things he wanted to say. So he went for it._


	16. Chapter 16

"**Dean hasn't had a lot of people in his life, and the family he expected to be with him no matter what is gone. I know he might never forgive me but he's starting to at least overlook all the things I did, but that'll never change the fact that I **_**did**_** betray his trust. Dean has always been alone, sometimes it's his own fault, but sometimes it's not. And he's almost always been disappointed in people, everything falls through, everything just isn't the way he wants it to be."**

"**Why are you telling me this?" Castiel asked.**

"**Because you're different. He wasn't expecting you, and he certainly wasn't expecting to react to you the way he has."**

**Castiel nodded. He knew he was unfamiliar territory to Dean.**

"**He can't be disappointed in something he didn't expect."**

"**True."**

"**But he'll start expecting things soon."**

"**Perhaps I could start researching sexual acts."**

"**What?" Sam spit out, the car swerving as he jerked his head to look at Castiel. "I-I…" Sam's face changed and he sighed. "Well honestly that will be part of it." he reasoned, looking a little disgusted. He was trying hard to keep certain mental images out of his head.**

"**Well I've tried." Castiel said in his own defense. It was weird for Sam to hear him using so many contractions.**

"**You…" Sam gave a sideways glance and sighed again. "you did?"**

"**Yes, last night. But he denied my advances."**

"**Dean?" Sam looked surprised. "Dean never denies advances."**

"**He said it was still different and new and would take getting used to."**

**Sam smiled, remembering what Dean had said about 'the occasional biker', and added onto his point, "But it won't **_**just be that." Sam meant all the tiny things that were so obscure he couldn't even think of an example.**_

"_**I understand that my role in his life will change, and I will give him everything I can."**_

"_**But you can't mourn what you can't give him."**_

_**Castiel sighed and nodded. "That will be difficult to keep in mind."**_

_**Sam nodded too and Castiel's were the last words spoken in the conversation. They reached the hotel, Sam effortlessly pulled Dean out of the backseat, and he awoke with the movement.**_

"_**Sammy, put me down." he protested weakly as his little brother scooped him up like he was wet laundry.**_

"_**I'm not going to reenact Weekend at Bernie's to save your pride, Dean." Sam told him, carrying his older brother bride-style to the hotel room door.**_

"_**Oh yeah, this is so much better." Dean never lacked sarcasm.**_

_**Castiel hurried to get ahead of them, flipping the keys Sam hand given him until one was gripped correctly between his fingers. He fumbled around with the lock and gave a grunt of frustration but got the door open in plenty of time for the much taller man to just keep walking. Unlocking doors was something else Castiel hadn't had to deal with when he was an angel, he thought about that fact as he jerked the keys out of the dead bolt and shoved them in his pocket.**_

_**But right now, there was more important things to think about.**_

_**He took a few steps closer to the bed and watched Sam lay Dean down on it.**_

_**Dean coughed and gave a look of anger but said, "Thanks, Sammy." so quietly Castiel could barely hear it.**_

_**Sam only said, "If anything happens, have Cas call, okay?" He knew this time was worse than usual, this time Dean couldn't even walk. And if leaving wasn't necessary, he would've stayed.**_

_**Dean gave a small nod and Sam gave Castiel a tight smile as he closed the door on his way out.**_

_**Castiel went to the bedside and asked, "What do you need?"**_

"_**Nothing, Cas, I'm fine, well-" Dean gave a short huffy sigh. "I will be, I'll be alright."**_

"_**I know. But I'm still here, whenever you want me."**_

_**Dean knew it meant so much more than it seemed, but somehow it was so painfully obvious that anyone could understand.**_

_**Dean was a little more aware, but still clearly worn and weak. He needed medical attention, no matter how backwoods that ended up being. He wasn't bleeding anymore but he still needed to be cleaned up, his suit was bloody and torn, and spots of his hair were matted down with blood. But most of all, he needed rest.**_

_**Castiel got an idea and smiled at Dean as he knelt down beside the bed.**_

"_**I'm a little too tired for that right now, Cas." Dean said with a smile.**_

_**Castiel looked confused for a second but understood that he was joking, and assumed he was referencing something sexual. Something he would have to research later. Right now, he was messing with the radio. He found a classic rock station, and Dean let out a satisfied sound when he heard the opening riff of Don't Fear the Reaper.**_

_**Castiel smiled with his own satisfaction, both from the song and Dean's reaction, as he stood back up. He had head the song before, and already knew the lyrics. That was probably the appeal: It said so many things he'd wanted to say to Dean, things he couldn't say because Dean would never sit still long enough, he'd fly out of the room as soon as he saw the start of it.**_

"_**Why don't you get off your feet and keep me warm?" Dean said.**_

_**Castiel understood and went around the huge bed, scooted over until he was right next to Dean, who sat up a little and leaned back against Castiel. Castiel gently put his arms around Dean's broken body, they relaxed into each other. Dean let out a sigh as he settled his head, and said, "I love you so much."**_

_**Castiel smiled and laid his head back on the headboard. The music muted any sounds from outside, and while it wasn't Judas Priest, it was one of the most beautiful songs Castiel had ever heard. Without hesitation, but also without the automatic urge to respond, he said, "I love you, Dean."**_

_

* * *

_

_**Hours passed, and Castiel was starting to wonder if Sam was intending to stay gone for so long. Dean had been sleeping so calmly and silently that Castiel would've been worried something was wrong if he hadn't felt him breathing. Despite getting only a few hours sleep in the last 24 hours, Castiel wasn't tired, and he didn't want to sleep anyway. He wanted to be awake and alert for Dean, just in case.**_

_**The radio played a few long strings of great songs, with a few cheesy car lot jingles in between, that spoofed well-known songs. White Room was playing when Dean woke up. He let out a deep breath and sat up on the side of the bed.**_

"_**Man." he said as he put a hand to his head.**_

"_**Do you feel alright?" Castiel asked, sitting up.**_

"_**Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He stood up and started for the bathroom. Castiel rushed to be a half a step behind.**_

"_**Time to survey the damage." Dean sighed as he came into his own view in the mirror. He reached up to pull his jacket off but hesitated. Castiel saw him wince in the mirror and heard the sharp hiss of pain, and his hands instantly went around Dean's shoulders, his fingers finding the edge of the clothing and pulling it gently away. He slid it down Dean's arms and tossed it into the bathtub.**_

"_**My shoulder." Dean said, turning around. "I can't lift my arm."**_

"_**Then don't." Castiel said, reaching for the buttons of the dress shirt.**_

"_**It's trash anyway, might as well cut it off."**_

"_**What fun would that be?" Castiel asked, only letting himself give a smirk after he saw one creep onto Dean's face.**_

_**So Dean let himself be undressed by the only man he would ever consider letting undress him. He let his hands run slowly and softly against the few parts of Dean that weren't bruising as he pushed the shirt off, and Dean didn't mind. His bloody wife-beater would have to stay on for the moment, since they had locked eyes and neither of them were making an effort to do anything more than stare.**_

_**For a second, Castiel was glad he couldn't heal Dean, if he had, he would be missing this wonderful sight. Even though Dean was in pain, he was still damn sexy.**_

_**Their eye contact broke when Castiel noticed a large bruise forming on Dean's right shoulder blade. "Is there anything I can do for your shoulder?" he asked.**_

"_**There's some heat cream in my bag." Dean said, thinking it sounded a little dirty and giving his own thoughts a smile as Castiel went to get it. He came back with a knife, too.**_

"_**You don't have scissors?"**_

"_**Why would I need scissors? I didn't anticipate you cutting my shirt off."**_

_**Castiel smiled, because honestly, it made him think certain things.**_

"_**It's not that bad, you don't have to cut it." His face tightened as he made himself take the tank top off, favoring his right arm as much as possible.**_

_**Castiel mumbled something about "stubborn" as he laid the knife on the basin, and Dean smiled as he turned around. The small tube was opened and Castiel started to rub the foul-smelling cream into Dean's shoulder.**_

"_**This stuff stinks." Castiel said, making Dean give a loud laugh. He never thought he'd hear Castiel say the word, 'stuff,' never mind 'stinks.'**_

"_**Yeah, gets the job done though."**_

"_**Given the choice, I think I would chose the pain."**_

_**Dean smiled.**_

_**The few moments spent applying the horrible medicine were cut short when Dean thanked Castiel and turned around. Possibly cancelling out the effectiveness of the medicine, he said he was going to take a shower. "I don't think I can handle that belt though." he said, slowly kicking his shoes off and maintaining a straight face.**_

_**Castiel knew he was lying, but wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to get his hands on the black leather belt. He unbuttoned the soft dress pants, slipped his fingers inside the waistband and ran them around to Dean's hips, and pulled the pants down, careful to leave his boxers in place.**_

"_**Thanks."**_

_**The door was a straight shot across from the bathroom, and Dean saw it open first. Castiel followed his gaze to Sam walking in, looking a bit disheveled. He stopped when he noticed what was going on, wide-eyed and awkward-looking.**_

"_**It's done." was all he said. "We can leave in the morning." Without waiting for response, he left again, pulling the door shut.**_

_**Castiel and Dean looked at each other in silence for a second, then burst into laughter.**_


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: This is the last chapter! HUGE thanks to everyone who reviewed, this story would be worth nothing without knowing someone enjoyed it.

It should've been the greatest feeling, the victory, the mind-blowing relief, beating both Heaven and Hell, keeping his planet, which was still a mess of things that go bump in the night, but that was the way Dean wanted it, as he had come to realize. He was upstairs at Bobby's place. Sitting in the only room he had spent just as much time in as a hotel room while he was growing up: The spare bedroom. After a few years, it hadn't been just the spare bedroom, Bobby started keeping a collection of classic rock tapes, saying it was because he had nowhere else to put them, but they just happened to be some of Dean's favorites. Just like the bookshelf happened to hold a variety of Sam's favorite classics that had absolutely nothing to do with hunting.

It'd been too long since Dean just sat in the room, remembering. Not that there was much to remember. But memories were the last thing on his mind. Sam was downstairs with Bobby, they were celebrating, surprisingly sober. They were planning hunts for the next few months, drooling over every sign of a haunt they could pick up on. Dean had tried to hide how shaken he was, but he knew Sam and Bobby could see it. He'd come up early, saying he was tired and just wanted to sleep for a few days maybe.

He had his brother, he had his… well whatever Bobby was. He should've been happy, ecstatic considering the job they'd just pulled off. They'd saved the whole freaking world. And all Dean could do was sit on the side of the bed, slumped forward with his face in his hands, crying as quietly as he could manage. He tried at first to tell himself that it was just the shock, the sudden realization that life was worth living again. But he knew that wasn't the reason.

It was because of Castiel.

Castiel had to be the protecting asshole and jump in the line of fire. Castiel had to take the hit for Dean. Because Castiel knew if Dean had taken it, he would've been out for the count. And then they were all screwed. Castiel had dove at Dean, shoving him out of the way and letting the human damage happen. He fell to the ground without the hard bounce you see in movies, and it sure as hell didn't happen in slow motion through Dean's eyes. It was all moving too damn fast. He knew what had just happened, but that didn't mean he had to accept it just then. Fighting back tears, because he was most definitely not crying, he stepped over Castiel's body and insanely used saving the world as a distraction.

He had fought harder because of Castiel, he wasn't going to let that son of a bitch die twice for nothing. When all was won, Dean barely resisted dropping to his knees and holding the body on the ground behind him. He thought he might be sick. He hadn't had the heart to bury him just then, and got as close to begging as he was willing Sam and Bobby to just let Castiel lie for a while.

Dean couldn't deny though, that now life had a little less worth, without one of the so many people he hadn't been able to spend as much time with the way he wanted. All the mixing emotions were just too much, and he couldn't put off the breakdown, letting everything out. But he didn't have to admit that.

He sloppily wiped his eyes with his sleeve as he heard footsteps in the hallway. He threw himself down on the bed and closed his eyes as the door opened. He heard more footsteps and tried to fake snoring, but his nose was already stopped up from crying, so he couldn't pass it off very well. He felt a finger on his face, wiping at the still streaming tears, which caught him off guard. He smacked the hand away and sat up as his eyes flew open. "Dude, what are you doing?" he asked.

Castiel stared at him with wide eyes, startled. "Sorry." Dean's eyes went even wider.

Castiel smiled. "Surprise?"

Dean slung his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed two fist fulls of Castiel's shirt. "What the hell do you mean surprise?" he shouted.

Castiel laughed. The son of a bitch laughed. Dean wanted to beat the crap out of him, and Castiel sensed this. He made himself stop laughing and put his hands around Dean's wrists. "I'm sorry." he said. His hands rubbed just slightly on Dean's arms and it was enough to make Dean loosen his grip.

"How?" was all Dean said, his face softening.

"I pulled a few strings." Castiel smiled again, knowing he didn't really care.

Dean smirked a little too. "You little bitch." he said.

"I wasn't going to leave you."

Dean suddenly felt terrible and didn't know what to say.

"You're tired. It is time for rest." he said, a hint of the forceful, angelic Castiel coming back. He pulled Dean's hands off him and Dean panicked stupidly for a second as he started to walk away, until he saw he was walking around the bed. He watched him climb on, lay down and they stared at each other, Castiel waiting and Dean wondering.

"Well, come'ere and lay with me." Castiel said, stretching out an arm.

Dean smiled, more tears ran down his cheeks, and he lay down and rolled over to fit perfectly with Castiel. They wrapped their arms around each other and Dean buried his face in Castiel's neck.

Castiel kissed the top of his head and whispered, "Rest."


End file.
